I often have people tell me they want more time with the community we bring together at my events. They want to support building the community so they can be part of it. In my vetting questions when folks want to join Meetup, I also ask them what they will bring to the community and how they will support us. They rarely know what to say.
I know it is difficult to figure out what exactly you can do, especially if you are brand new to a community.

Here are some ideas I had which would work to help build and support any community or group you would like to be a part of or create. In no particular order.

DO THIS TO SUPPORT AND GROW COMMUNITY:
1. Support your facilitators and leaders. They are most likely volunteering their time and experiences to the community and usually do not get enough back in exchange for their work.
    a. Help give them the spark by asking when the next event is, or telling them you would love to attend another event on - specific date -.
    b. Tell them what you loved about the event.
    c. If they are open to it, give feedback based on your own experiences.
    d. Buy them lunch.
    e. Tell them how much you appreciate the work they put in to creating the events. Say Thank You.
    f. Respond to surveys, feedback requests, and engage with them.
    g. Tell your story about how their work has affected you in your life. Hopefully it is a good story and will help motivate them. :) Unfortunate stories are also important and need to be told so we can all grow out of those experiences.
    h. Find out what their love language is and do something small and appropriate (keep it professional if you do not have a personal relationship) to show them you appreciate them.

2. Donate $$ to the facilitator/event/community/organization if it is within your means. Offer to cover the Meetup fees, donate website hosting, donate to the parent company like Cuddle Party Inc to support training and the bigger picture, and/or cover the cost of space rental or equipment purchase.

3. Ask if you can pick up the mats, wash the covers and bring them to the next event. This is pretty specific, but look around and see if there is something like this you could offer.

4. Bring snacks to share.

5. Encourage folks you think would do well to take on leadership roles, to volunteer their specialty to support the group, or become a facilitator themselves.

6. Volunteer your specialty to support the group - are you good at marketing? Advertising? Sewing mat covers? Designing t-shirts? Making spreadsheets? Designing websites? Creating user polls? Putting out flyers? Cold calling therapists to see if they want to talk about cuddling? Email list gathering? Writing email newsletters? Social media posting?

7. Find us a location. Volunteer your space as a house host so we have a comfy place to meet. Find a public space to rent and donate the cost of the rental fees.

8. Interact/Engage on social media. Engage with posts from others and post to the group yourself on a regular basis.

9. Co-host or help arrange an event for your other groups - church group, family group, knitting group, book club, poly group, brown-eye people who like to go fishing group. Would they appreciate a private Cuddle Party or workshop just for folks in that group who already know each other?

10. Offer to collaborate or assist for an event. Your facilitator can talk with you about what that might mean based on the skills you bring and how much you want to offer. This could involve watching the online messages and phone calls for folks trying to find the place right before the event, putting the latecomers sign on the door, co-hosting a small intro workshop topic before the event, co-hosting a full workshop or retreat event, taking care of the snack table, being the official greeter for first timers, and/or offering to supply the music playlist among many other things. Ask your facilitator what they would like assistance with.

11. Ask for what you would like to see at the next event. A mini-workshop or exercise on -topic-, or a full day workshop on that topic, or a cuddle slumber party, or a position lab workshop, or just free hangout time for veterans. Whatever it is, ask for you what you want. (Just remember the answer can be No. If it is, thank them for taking care of themself.)

12. Become a facilitator or a leader yourself. Yes, please!
It's ok if you don't have the knowledge or experience right now. There may be a certification program to train you (as there is with Cuddle Party) or your facilitator may be willing to mentor you and collaborate with you on events until you do have the experience you need. If you feel called to take it on, let your leaders know and ask what the best route to leadership is for you and the group.

13. Tell folks about your group. There are people out there who are searching for exactly the same thing you want. Let people know what is going on so those who are searching can find us and we can find them.



NUMBER ONE THING
The number one thing you can do to help create your community is:
SHOW UP. CONSISTENTLY.

Attend the events, answer the polls and requests for feedback, engage on social media - have a presence wherever your group is so you are a part of it. Send a message when you aren't going to be there so you still have a presence. Community requires a critical mass of engaged participants. Otherwise it is just me sitting there like a dork by myself. - No one wants that. :)


COMMUNITY IS IMPORTANT
Having the support of community is so important. Research has shown those with good social support groups live longer than those who are alone. The people you spend time with are also reflections of you, yourself. If they aren't now, they will be soon.
Hang out with people you want to be like instead of those who support traits in you which you do not want to encourage.
In our current culture, community can be more difficult to find than it was in the past. In the past we had our neighborhood, our church, our co-workers. Our culture has been moving more and more away from engaging with our neighbors, more folks are leaving the church they were born in to, and most folks do not have a career any more but move from job to job every 3-5 years. Even when we do stay in a job, working from home or anywhere makes it more difficult to socialize with our co-workers.


GOOD NEWS
The good news is, community can be found anywhere you spend time with folks sharing a common experience or working toward common goals or sharing interests. Maybe your primary community is now within the theater groups you are a part of and you do stage shows multiple times per year. Perhaps you have a book club or a home parent play date group, maybe you volunteer with the PTA or hangout at the library participating in all the programs they offer. Maybe your Meetup yoga in the park group is especially close or you have a knitting sit-in group that meets once a week. Perhaps you were in the military. Or maybe you went through some terrible experiences and have found community in your support group of others with similar experiences. Or you have gym buddies you met working out or playing basketball. You have a great Salt Lake rowing club that meets once a month on Utah lake now because the Salt Lake is drying up. These are all community.


BIGGER PICTURE
I hope the ideas above would work to help support any group you want to be part of. In this day and age when we mostly go to work and come home like zombies to sit on the couch, it is more important than ever to find and/or create community so we can have healthy connections.


CAN'T FIND YOUR COMMUNITY? CREATE ONE!
I hope you can join appropriate communities and support them. Check Meetup, Eventbrite, local bulletin boards, local businesses, government event calendars, local libraries, facebook groups, Reddit, Discord, podcast listings.

You couldn't find a user group for blond haired afficionados of snakes over 5 feet long (the snake, not the blond haired afficionados)?
If you think there are no appropriate communities for you in your area, you can create one yourself! Create it and they will come! I promise folks are looking for you, just as you are longing for them. Help them find you and then have some good times bonding together!


QUESTIONS/FEEDBACK?
Do you have additional ideas for how to grow community? Let me know!
Do you have a question or want more clarification? Want to send me feedback?
Please email me at MaryCuddler@gmail.com.

Mary Sorensen is a Cuddle Party Facilitator, Cuddlist practitioner, writer and speaker who wishes she could quit her day job as an office manager in Salt Lake City. She loves to sing, work in the garden, read and talk about communication. She also loves to facilitate events and opportunities for fellow explorers as they seek to become the highest and best version of themself. www.MaryCuddler.com

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